You knowI enjoy having these conversations with you. Speaking of virtual pets, I'm revamping the ones on this site. Because I am easily amused and have lots and lots of time on my hands. I mean, who'd a thought? Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. I'm tired. There was a sample essay online. Now you may be wondering what horrible beast is Moose's arch-enemy. When you're in space (without a space suit) you don't SUFFUCATE, you don't FREEZE. aSk anybody. Even the air is conspiring to squish me! Guess what? It's about the (supposedly) infinite nature of the universe. Seeya. Such proofs often use computational proof methods and may be considered non-surveyable . That's right, folks. Define three functions: the first function to extract all the sentences, the second to determine the longest sentence, and the third to determine the average sentence length. For all you know, you could be halucinating my entire site! Instead they appear to be a nuclear armagedon in the form of a fifth grader. I am now barophobic (afraid of gravity). HA! It's because of the "evil little faeries with sharp little teeth." I love the little tacos, I love them good! (To this day, however, I will almost literally kill for a box of Cheez-It party mix, as it is a rare commodity at my house.) I'm back. I'll rant and rave and ramble about the EVILS of sunlight. He once said, It was Faulkner at his most involuted and incantatory who most enchanted me. The current record holder for the longest english sentence is Jonathan Coe for his staggering 33-page, 13,955-word sentence in The Rotters Club, 2001. e)My psychotic bunny predicted I'd die doing it. Which fits the motif of the rest of the site. I translated it from German to English and got "I am the Moved Taco!" Like a muffin. WellI DO have a special treat for you weirdos who apparantly like wasting time! I better stop typing before I have a heart attackjust rememberThe Matrix has youI'm back. That doesn't make any senseyou can't BE something abstractcan you? You could be the figment of someone else's dream. It doesn't. This is just a pointless excursive in spelling errors and grammatical imprecision. Then it must diepainfully. We have ZIM, neopets, music, and much, much, more. Good-bye. My mom did it to her because it was free. When I was at a TAB poetry thingy (TAB is good TAB is great We love TAB) I met some new people. Would they dry into raisins? )And for all the idiots out there: Try new and improved Dum-B-Gon! A la recherche du temps perdu by Marcel Proust., I got a sentence that was 5639 words long, i just looked it up so can can copy and paste it on my school chat for fun not to read, I just wanted to say, i really like cheese, andi thinki think my teacher is mad at me sry waitshes mad because i was asking my other teacher questions about work online hmmm.my teacher sure is a ##### ass feminist, i just wrote a sentence with 1,289 words so ha. And now, back to our featured presentation. It only takes a little light to help those thingies, and smoke detectors provide more than a little. I confirmed that the Union was Northern and Free, and that the Confederacy was Southern and Slave. Pretty cool, huh? In the beginning of the movie, Neo is having dreams about Trinity's death. And ever loony in America decided that it was a conspiracy. Whole families would gather around their front door, in breathless anticipation while they attempted to barracade me out. And lastly, you'd have to know where the heck this site is. That way, she can pass the test without actually learning anything. Immediatly, my mother started complaining. that was recognised in the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records was the longest ever written. i felt sorry for my dad. I'd tell it to my little brother as a bed time story. Oh, but I did remember what else I wanted to say to you people. You're still here. 516 words 'In the event that the Purchaser defaults in the payment of any instalment of purchase price, taxes, insurance, interest, or the annual charge described elsewhere herein, or shall default in the performance of any other obligations set forth in this . Emma has contributed to various art and culture publications, with an aim to promote and share the work of inspiring modern creatives. Especially since I'm bothering to write all this. Because they put subliminal messages in them, of course! Chomp" And he bites it. Moving on, I have nothing else to say, but don't feel like quitting just yet. Today was Halloween. Remember that rant I did on how there could be a secret camera in the smoke detector? OhI'm rambling again, aren't I? Now, a long time ago, people were sort of smarter. Longest Sentence By Rebecca Jones, Arts Correspondent. I'm fairly certain she knows it's not alive, though. You exploud. Just how much time do they have on their hands. | 13.63 KB, JSON | I accidently cut it with scizzors. Okay, this next rant has nothing to do whatsoever with Halloweenwhich is to be expected because it's been several days since then. Space is notorious for not having air. I was very proud of her, just as you would be proud of a two-year-old who has just announced: "I WENT POO-POO ON THE POTTY!!!!!" So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problemit's almost like a game! I hadn't had a genuine sugar rush since I was 11. You don't know either? as many times as possible before you splattered your brains on the rocks, all the while listening to a soundtrack that is similar to a dying ceiling fan. Soair pressure can be a good thing. As you read this Historicly Accurate Anecdote, you must realize the parallel between it and the fable The Emperoro's New Clothes. Code: 843 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that in no way is the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who?) Jonathan Coes The Rotters Clubends with a 33-page long whopper with 13,955 words in it. This confirmed my suspicion that she only went so that she could have the use of the church's playground equipment. I'd probably lose money, but the concept is interesting. Wellbetter goI need to plan this out moreI'm back. As Neo realizes all of this, through a nearly omniscient Architect of the Matrix, he makes another choice. WowI really must be bored. I better go. Uhyou don't have to take the subliminal stuff seriously. It doesn't matter. At least her's makes sensesort of. There ARE aliens. I rule theer*random Loyal Minion whispers in ear* That's right! And the lady representing them, calls the radio stationon a phone. Emma Taggart is a Contributing Writer at My Modern Met. I will show you an example with this completly true stuff that I experienced several years ago. Okay. After all, how can I be self derisive, and full of low expectations for this site if I KNOW people are hereseveral thousand of them in fact, in just a few months. Today my frazzled-brain produced something that is decidedly Jenny (that's my more or less "real" name). Wooooooo! Wellnow that I think about itaccording to my theory, ALL conspiracies are real and mislabled "paranoid" people are really the only ones who see the truth. No! Purposly damaging the skin so you can look "attractive". This page won't get a single hit, unless I bribe peoplenow that has possibilities. Someone did something incredbly stupid, but because they were powerful, everone acted like it was a stroke of genius. The sleeping person will gradually get used to it (and incorporate it into their dreams). It takes patience to read, but once you get into the rhythm, its like delving into Faulkners stream of consciousness. In a recent article, humorist Dave Barry discussed the addictive quality of the snack food, Cheez-Its. 8 min ago 16 min ago HOW ARE YOU DOING? How discouraging. So the game naturally did everything it could to preserve my life. Or what if you took big ol' slobbery licks? This sentence is the longest. Anyway, gotta go! Of course, there is also regretafter all, I could have made a fortune if I'd been the first to think of it. We were supposed to write about a cherished child-hood toy, and attempt to turn our fond memories into a commercial. Time for another quote from the FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK!!! Thou shalt not eat spuds. I see you have no reaction to that, do you Hypothetical Reader? *sniffle* i do, too. Okay, back to the flaming-chickens LTE rivalry. Lots of people spoke. If there are an infinte number of worlds with human life, than there are an infinte number of worlds that have someone exactly like you, with only a few key differences. i cannot feel my feet. That would explain that annoying green little blinkie light in them. You wanna play that way. And I've realized that I am a complete idiot. It was down for a whole day or so 'cause of all the traffic I got from my new quizes. "Purified" water. All I know is that I've been assuming one thing while the person in charge has been assuming a completly different thing. OR, maybe it's the writing. Today, I'm here to salute the Pointless Signs Of America! If the universe is infinite it would be crazy to think that we're alone. We believe that this is the longest single sentence in . I'm tired. Fighting in the American Civil War? Oooo..I'm a poet, and don't I know it? And then I was unable to get on the computer and I forgot most of it. It will be a truly magestic site, as it launches from the earth, spewing excess oxygen, cardboard, feathers and tape. WAIDAMINIT!! I, being weird, am pretty much immune to such expectations. 0 . Yeah. RANDOM PERSON: *head explouding from sheer insanity* As you can see, I was a very weird child (this happened in elementary schooluhexcept for that head-explouding part). And on to:#4You make your friends look normal in comparison. We eventually reached our destination after 16 hours of virtually non-stop driving. Okay, one day, in the future, smoke dectectors will probably activate litte fire-fighter bots that every home will have. Was it coherent? Well, at least she knows that slaves were involved in the war. MOOOO! Hello, everyone! Then, when I win 500 additional np, I move to the 500np point. Gotta go, must lure innocent victems to the second most pointless site ever!!!! The magic eight-ball glows with knowledge! The longest sentence in the world is currently being served by Charles Scott Robinson, who is serving a sentence of life without parole in the United States. That's talent. Is that old lady on the street corner really an ex-convict? Is it possible to make less sense? That's exactly what tanning is like. "Pure" water manufactuerers are not required to list the ingredients of water, because the average consumer believes that it should be obvious. :) Seeya! THe cake was good. Everyone I know who has played that game is shocked when I tell themoh, well. about my site, and called me weird. Before you know it, we'll have orange alligators, pink tigers and blue lions. I think mine involved a jaunty song to sing. With knowledge you can win money and the opportunity to look like a dork on national television. First devised by professor William J. Rapaport in 1972, this notorious sentence plays on reduced relative clauses, different part-of-speech readings of the same word, and center embedding. Think about it. Yea, me! William Faulkner was featured in 1983 Guinness Book of World Records for this 1,288-word sentence from Absalom, Absalom! The Patron Saint of Paper Clips (me again!) No one has even bothered to e-mail them to me*sniffle*. It was inspired, in part, by my sheer and utter boredom. I wonder if I've made the world record? You cannot judge them simply because they have no apparant function. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. But, if it had remained that way, I would have had no impetus to continue my pointlessly insane ranting. For, you seemy life long goal has been fufilled*anticipatory silence*THERE ACTUALLY IS GRAPE PIE!!!! It was fun, but exhausting. My mother visited relatives. I mean, she traded Asia for a carrot! "angry mob form"? I think I hear a monkeyOkaynow I'm back. Fire is my frienduntil it burns me. responsible for any faulty wiring or lack thereof in your computer. Some of my pages have stuff written in to make search engines recognize me, but it doesn't seem to be working. Okay. It can be very confusing, especially if you weren't paying attention in the first place. And then the quality will rise. Today's lesson is: subliminal messages . HOLY WAX! The author's vision was unique in that only he put biscuits and death in the same sentence. It really lets me get to know you. What I mean is, you wouldn't be very proud if the average person said that they just took a dookey on the toilet, and you wouldn't be very proud if they knew who fought against the Union in the Civil War. I don't care if I have to ride the bus home if I stop work. If you don't like it, start your own longest text ever. There's even a money back guarantee. I think that they should routinly die a slow, savage, agonizing deathI was just saying a random thing that I would never, ever do.) I have to wonderwhy would Kodak do such a thing. I love my work, I love the kids I work with. I, personally, am obsessed with, kitties, bunnies, bats, this website, drawing, making intriate little patterns with strings, doing mildly repetitive activities, being weird, apparantly making lists and cheeseand chickensand flame. Number Ten: This is the list that never ends. That sounds good, too. *pauses* Oh. The following text may spoil the movie for you, so WARNING: do no read this unless you have already seen the movie. Jesus Christ is my lord and savior.You guys probably think that that is the worlds longest sentence, but it's not,because I just keep on adding commas, and it's pretty easy, if you think about it, so anyway there is this girl at school and she's my friend, and all but she's turning . HA-HA! AS soon as you're pierced, you have to buy "starter" earrings. Fire is free. Now, correct me if I'm wrongbut Iraq? This is because she memorizes the questions. Think about it. Because nature supposidly abhors a paradox. (Absolutly nothing about that statement was sarcastic) As you can see, I love my families outings(Not unless you're blindor stupid) &#!#%&&!!! *waits for readers to become insanely jealous* Yep, that's right, a bar with a pool table! Squirell? So. That's it, I'm gonna take drastic measures! Girls began wearing skimpier, and skimpier bathing suits. But without the bad sound track. "Meg" wrote it for a school assignment. That dirty little rat. I better goI think Kodak is tracing my site.I'm back now! Gone would be the days when parents told children to play outside, it's a nice day. Here's what I wrote this weekend: Woooooo! I'm a genius. ", and translated it to German. WHAT!? One day the chief sent his servants everywhere to find a good story-teller. I'm back. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. OOooooo! It would sneeze, then start it's eight-hour-long death hum. Im gonna start quoting from the Flaming Chicken Handbook! Anyway, yeah, I'm a furry, but since I'm a young furry, I can't really do as much as I would like to do in the fandom. Pure means, well, no extra stuff. Or suffer my blindingly moronic nail messages. I love it! Sometimes I crack myself up. I put hyphens in both of his titlesit must be a conspiracy! It will translate any thing, to anything else. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. I love my calculator, though. This action has made her very suspicious of where my loyalties lie. That's all. This, of course would expand the market for such products. Of course, you also end life by sneezing, eating, sleeping, and watching T.V. Finnaly, is it expected for said sibling's non-gender specific parent to encourage such behavior, citing "I was just like that as a child" as an excuse? You want me to stay. Seeya! Strange, huh? You feel very, very honored. In other words, they take all that extra "stuff" out to make it pure. When I start playing a game, I am on 0. He even tried to hide the sword behind his back! We'd probably go crazier. Number Seven: I could drive people crazy. She agrees, but only after seeing how important it is to him. You seeknowledge is good. Which is why it's not even 10:00 and here I am, typing. Behind the Scenes: How the British Library Digitizes One of the Worlds Biggest Books, View Leonardo Da Vincis Notebooks Online and Go Inside the Mind of a Genius, Library Places 1,600+ Occult Books Online With Help From The Da Vinci Code Author, 20+ Creative Gifts for People Who Love to Read. Oh, by the way, I noticed that whenever I use spell-check, my stupid computer turns the word probley into to word problem. It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! The previous sentence made absolutly no sense. But I'd like to take this time to thank the 2 and 1/2 people in the entire universe who have bothered to read this entire thing. Some people disagree, the director of the Kansas Geological Survey said "I think this is part of a vast breakfast food conspiracy to denigrate Kansas. I'm back! I'll add a link to the main page when I get around to it. I'm just as upset about this unfortunate lack of development in the pie division. That had nothing to do whatsoever with subliminal messagesit's just cool to say. Would it vary? I have neither won nor lost money/neopoints. I hope I remember doing this. longest possible text for discord. And what did he do to me? What does this mean to you? And then the quality will go down and the vicious spiral of good and bad will continue untill I either give up this text, or go crazyer. I clarified, which countries fought in the Civil War. Completly defeated, I told her that it was the religion she practiced every Sunday when she went with her friends to church. I'm back. Do you know story about the longest story in the world? Does it serve an obvious purpose? Yea*waits for applause* okay! I'm just bored. Hits all right. Oh, who am I kidding. *let the panic begin! No? Because eventually, I'll be back! (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Image by Carl Van Vechten, via Wikimedia Commons. When I tried to talk to him, he tossed it away nonchalantly and pretended he hadn't heard me. The only difference is the taste, which I enjoy, since it is new and different. I gave up in exasperation. And she doesn't even LIKE carrots! There MUST be some sort of conspiracy involved, 'cause if there is, I can get rid of the EVIL thing! There is a world where you are a faerie. If you make a purchase, My Modern Met may earn an affiliate commission. And so, I'll take a trip down memory lane, to the dark depths of the past, to when I decided to make this page. I'll probably have another one soon, but that whole water thing has been buggin me for awhile. Perhaps Kodak is actually a front organization for a shadowy governmental system that controls the entire world and didn't want mankind to obtain the freedom of the stars and so tried to sabotauge the space program even though it didn't work as well as they planned. I'm just rambling. It seems like blaggerent plagerism. And I only took the quiz once, too. 46 min ago But, if you expect something and get something you feel nothing. Any derogatory statement is simply an opinion of an individual, not of the flaming order of the flaming chickens. I'm back. You'd have to be an absolute loser (or really bored) to come here. Wellany wayseeya! That my words somehow travel accross time (if only a few minutes) and are somehow picked up by future you, and that my responses are dictated by future you's reactions. I HAVE POWERS PINTO BEANS CAN ONLY DREAM OF! Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. In obscure cookbooks. That's funny!!!! We accept PayPal, Venmo (@openculture), Patreon and Crypto! Then, in an inspired move, my brother talked my mother into letting him sit up front. (Think of the fake-looking Star Trek aliens). You just let me rant on and on for you KNEW that eventually I would confuse myself with my vast puddle of knowledge. Oh, and I would like to mention to my *snicker* LOYAL fans that this Longest Text Ever DOES get updated at least once a week, so please, please, please, PLEASE do not read this once, in one sitting and then leave forever, and ever and ever! Subscribe!function(m,a,i,l,s,t,e,r){m[s]=m[s]||(function(){t=a.createElement(i);r=a.getElementsByTagName(i)[0];t.async=1;t.src=l;r.parentNode.insertBefore(t,r);return !0}())}(window,document,'script','https://www.openculture.com/wp-content/plugins/mailster/assets/js/button.min.js','MailsterSubscribe'); 2006-2023 Open Culture, LLC. Perhaps my family is just so weird, we've lost all sense of perspective. Oh, well. Just like how many licks it takes to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop. Maybe I should make the link come here directlyHey! Air pressure. Shame on you! You don't have the best life of your counterparts, but you don't have the worst either. Add comment. I wonder what it's name would be. It's pathetic. Were also on Pinterest, Tumblr, and Flipboard. What's really fun is to translate an English saying, like out of sight, out of mind. Needless to say, we ignored her. I think. If the facts beg to differ, than the facts are wrong. What an eccentric idea! I'd probley come here, but that isn't much of a surprise. I learned this from my calculator. He then leaves them under his owners car. I think. She immediatly replied "Clara Barton". Or his mom did. Faulkners intimacy is not earnestness, it is the uncanny feeling of a raw encounter with a nerve center lighting up with information, all of it seemingly critically important. And I hava a very, almost special rant for you. School children won't be able to correctly identify the color of a zebra. while others are thinking "Who's John F. If I told you, I'd have to kill you and all that stuff.