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the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. CLARITY friend you do make a lot of sense. Don't assume the baby will be just like his daddy, your baby may have a few similarities to him cause he's his child but your baby will be one of a kind in your eyes. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. It's stressful I have strong feelings for him and he says he does to but it's not just are little fantasy anymore things got so rushed and our maturity levels are so different. It would feel odd. Remember, the decision you make will decide whether you will be happy or not in the near future. I know daddies who didn't feel a connection to their babies until they held them for the first time and like someone else said, maybe that'll be the case for you. Most were married to . Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! My current girlfirend got pregnant while on the mini pill. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. If you don't want to be controlled, don't make yourself 100% dependent on someone. I hope everything works out for you. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. In the end its all about the kids. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? You said you quit your job Is that because of the pregnancy? Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. Welcome to the world little one! The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? I am 39 soon to be 40 in 2 months. Personally I think if you both have similar life views (finances, rearing children, religion) then I think you could make this a long lasting beautiful relationship and your child can grow up in a loving home with mom and dad. not the father, mother or child. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. I was By entering this site you declare After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? Being in a lo. . It was very stressful. I know most of yall are gonna tell me to leave him and I wish it was that easy. Don't just jump into the discussion; ease your way into it. Its best to rip the band-aid off now instead of living a miserable life indefinitely. long story short. Lastly, keeping a child she wanted to abort could cause her to hate the child, it's not guaranteed she would love the child when it was born. NOW THE CHILD IS BORN. Sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and ended up getting pregnant. May you both be happy and healthy. There are midnight feedings, changing diapers, rocking a screaming infant and little sleep. In fact, I was planning on breaking up with him right before I found out I was pregnant. He was a rebound for me. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. We had two kidsnice little family unit. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. Long story short. Immerse yourself in nature. There are days I hate being pregnant and days I could swear I even hate him. If I cant love her now, what are the possibilities that Ill love her? Lovers have a fun in comfortable room. I hid the drama from my children, making up excuses while he never home. Don't stay just for the kids. In some cases it works, but for many it doesn't. (11 Possible Meanings), how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby, reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else, How to Sweep A Cancer Man Off His Feet - Zodiac Signs, 32 Best Reasons to Date a Nurse (The No.1 Caretaker), Things You Need to Know About Dating Portuguese Man (The Sexiest Boyfriend), 35 Crazy and Undeniable Signs That She Friendzoned You, 25 Reasons Why You Should Date The Outgoing Introvert, Reasons to Choose the Girl with the Complicated Pastand How to Love Her Right. If you don't like him, you don't have to live with him or use him. For many, it was an easy decision that often came down to a gut feeling and the common refrain that. I was supposed to be the one. After having a baby, a woman will be, on average, 2.5 to 5 lbs. If you have the "baby blues" you might not notice the sadness or moodiness right away. If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? This is nuts. It was important to me that my children had as normal upbringing as possible. Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. And one of the problems is the appearance of a question having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it? I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. . I grew up where my dad treated me like ****, so I wanted to be the best father I could. A woman isn't damaged after engaging in sex, having a baby, or ending a bad relationship. Rightfully so! Sooner or later it'll be over. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! Archived discussions are usually a bit older and not as active as other community content. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. Just here to say I constantly feel guilty for all of the crying I have done this pregnancy. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. FATHER IS BLESSED WITH A CHILD BUT MISARABLE. 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. I don't want to burden her with any of this, especially now that she needs to be calm and feel secure. Might not happen overnight but think of where you want to see yourself in a year. we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. I know she doesn't want to be with me and I stop loving her and I don't want to be with her anymore. I couldn't be myself with him. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. It happens almost all the time that children involved in such situations rather suffer the consequencies. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. They hurt the most. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. Many things will change during the whole 9 months of pregnancy. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? It doesn't, does it? Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . And a bit frightening. AS to your ex, is she still into you, or is it one-sided? SCENARIO 4: BE TRUTHFUL TO THE PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND AND LET HER ALSO HAVE SAY AS TO WHAT SHE WANTS. SCENARIO 3: FORGET ABOUT THE WOMAN YOU LOVE. Then suddenly she is all happy, and loved up which I find really hard to believe. That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. No going back. We broke up 6 weeks ago and we Ok long story short my girlfriend of over a year was raped by someone that My girlfriend doesn't think I love her, but I do love her. Cookie Notice IF YOU BOTH DECIDED TO STAY IN A LOVELESS RELATIONSHIP. I just put myself on hold. All i will advice him to do is to sit the girl in question down and talk to her in a matured way. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. It depends on the person. have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. You will need to end an unwanted relationship. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. I'm curious as to how he is selfish?? I would sacrifice my own happiness and stay for the kids not interested in been with anyone else just want my girls and soon to arrive boy to be happy? well you could say society won because it was able to force a marriage albeit a miserable one. 2. You should do what will make you happy. And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. Nobody really knows what to expect when having a baby, but it does change everything, even if you're determined it won't. Some people may view the prospect of that change as scary and they may doubt their parental skills." If I could do something different, it would be to divorce as soon as my last daughter was born. I My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. The relationship seems new and I know that is hard. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. I was in the same boat. "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. To begin, the average cost of vaginal delivery in the US, with health insurance, is $4,300. Keep looking down and feeling like you don't deserve something good won't get you anywhere. I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. If you're dating a woman who doesn't want to have kids, you should know whether or not you do. When he acts OK with the idea and his first instinct is to be happy, you can be sure it's one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you. A. Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani There are many things that may cause a broken heart. there will be hatred, resentment, and misery. She will touch you in a gentle way, kiss you softly and hug you with her heart. And if you guys were just friends with benefits, why continue the pregnancy? I find the really difficult and I just have idea what do. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always fails to learn. Just that simple. Single. I didn't want to end up starting a family in my 50s. Likewise, it's also draining, frustrating, and time-consuming. It's why your lady friend just said those two possibly thrilling, possibly terrifying words: "I'm pregnant." So what do you say when the woman you. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means.". To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. the woman would be unhappy, miserable and resentful as well in the long run for marrying a man who doesnt love her or care if she exists. YOU CANNOT PROVIDE HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. As a woman, you get insulted for doing it, and you get insulted for not doing it. That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. Knowing that you don't want to have the relationship with someone, you will never be able to fake your feelings for temporary happiness. FTM. we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. But, learning from the past and making it as a lesson is a different story. HAPINESS IS AN INDIVIDUAL RESPOSIBLITY. In the time that I got pregnant I feel that I was in a daze thinking I was in love but recently I feel like I snapped out of it. 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. It is normal to want to lay your head on your mother's breast and feel the security and warmth of her love and compassion. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. Made a mistake without any intention to make it surely will freak someone out. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. In other words, those maternal. She knows him for 9 MONTHS not years. I don't know if that's just hormones talking or what! The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. Know his concern about the current situation and discuss. I don't feel that he is someone that I want to be with forever. **** will get tough before it gets better, but it will work out in the end. To start? Add to Collection. To imagine her saying, "I'm here for you baby." We all need more than the . We are two total opposite people. know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! She doesn't want an abortion, and I know it sounds terrible but I keep hoping she will miscarry, however she is 16weeks gone and that's unlikely . Don't create a situation where you are stuck and can be controlled like that. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. What can I do please? SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? It would not work out for you or for her. I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. Will the feeling of disconnection to this baby ever go away? Well of course he would keep the car. 2Face. Think about it if you can't love him ever then end it and learn to co parent. You've been clear with him from the start. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. You're a mom now. How can I believe I fathered the child if she's been unfaithful ? One in 4 women will hang onto 11 lbs. I was done. Take a time to learn from your mistake so that you won't fall into the same problem. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. He wasn't meant for marriage, he was a party guy, a free bird, and only got married because he was afraid I'd sue him for child support later. It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. Eventually though, it caught up to us. That's what we tackle in today's blog. I thought the same! I have read many times that people say don't make any major changes in the baby's first year of life. We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else. What issues have you two had? Men don't have a biological clock in the same sense as women. Please I need your help because I might be pushed to get married when am not prepared. 1997-2023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. Subscribe to Medium for only $5/month & read ALL my sizzling hot stories! You could have the best partner and tons of family support. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). And the best way to do it is to proof to anyone that this version of you is so much better than you were. I wasn't happy. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade have welcomed their first baby to their family. I hope you find what you're looking for. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. On top of that, my age (early forties) scared me into accepting the situation thinking that i am too old to start all over again and wasting more time. Falling in love again at 47 and marrying for the second time at 52 was a miracle. SAY IT AGAIN! I dont want to jump into marriage as if its a job contract I am signing expecting that one day it will expire. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. Opinions please. If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. This difficult parent-child dynamic is most typical of families where one or both parents are narcissistic, but it's not exclusive to narcissists only. Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. Now it is tearing me apart. Don't try to be super-parent and don't let other people's unfair assumptions affect how you see yourself and your family. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. Trust me dude, do whatever you have to to end this A.S.A.P. Friends with benefits are often just friends who you sleep with, with no emotional attachment. He shdnt forget the welfare of the child involved. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. We didn't have to be. She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. Maybe he doesn't like being used. View woman having a baby videos Browse 599,438 woman having a baby stock photos and images available, or search for woman in labor or woman giving birth to find more great stock photos and pictures. I am wondering if i can and how i can win my ex back. GET A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN!!! Aim to have a better and best partner that you can have. After a wonderful pregnancy I spontaneously gave birth at 29 weeks. Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. Accept That You Will Never Be First. Need help, advice? . If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. dont do it I married my ex for the same reasons it was terrible for not only us but my children. Create an account or log in to participate. The preferential parent is a parent who loves one child, the " golden child ," but doesn't love the other (or others), a " scapegoat .". Good one boys real mature!! We were fighting like crazy right before we found out she was pregnant. my point is no one really wins in this situation. Why can't you go back to doing what you were doing before you met? 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. If something that can work out for you to try loving her, that would be most ideal. You're an adult. We had been dating for maybe a few months before exclusive. Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. Good luck to you. Though they don't have a child, Oprah and Stedman have been together for decades and have no intention of being married. Do I have to spend the rest of my life with a woman I don't love? Married for few months. Apparently that first year of raising the child is very stressful, specifically on the relationship. Now she's pregnant. I know life would be so much easier if we were together, but I don't know if it's worth it. He made a baby with you but doesn't seek out or make an effort to spend time with his daughter. Asking why you had sex with her in the first place wont solve this problem cos its everywhere in our societies and its just unfortunate your hit and run opportunity couldnt worked out. It tears me apart. Being pregnant is not a free pass for not working. ISNT THAT WHAT WE ALL WANT? It is tough to find time for yourself, let alone your spouse. SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR HER CHILD. Are these issues still there? It wasn't working out before she got pregnant and now it's 100x worse because of her hormones. My youngest doesn't really remember anything. Long story short my ex dumped me. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. you have a baby with a girl you dont love,but you loved her apple enough to eat it without any protection?stupid talk,absolute rubbish. Would I do it again? You can't force yourself to love him. I got my, now wife, pregnant but she never loved me, in fact a month before she got pregnant she actually went to spend the night with some dude at a hotel in a different city, but she told me she just wanted to go away for a couple of days. most times the child bears all the burnt of this relationship as the child would be looked upon as some sort of curse to both parties life the father will hate the child instead of loving it and the mother will eventual resent her child. Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD Sem Travar | Futebol Grtis HD. Yes, you can still be happy in a relationship without being married. To cut a long story short I'm in a very My Pregnant Girlfriend is Pushing Me Away. THAT'S IT. For more information, please see our Satisfaction can be found through bringing up children . You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. woman in labor woman giving birth Sort by: Most popular Woman with newborn baby Pretty woman holding a newborn baby in her arms They didn't want to break up the family. 1. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. I too feel torn by a similar situation. Romantic relationship of beautiful couple. Shy behavior A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. Has it ever gotten better. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. Everyone is happier. Having children is not cheap. If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? You don't want support, you just want to hear he is a bad guy and you are a victim. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. BE A MANam done. A lot of women are alone while pregnant or with young children and they have a life they can be proud of. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. I do have family but financially they can't help me or buy me a car bc he would be petty enough to keep the one he got me, it's under his name, I don't have anywhere to go or any Finances since I quit my job moving in with him. As I read the last couple lines I typed, I sound so selfish. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. Be mature about it don't depend on her to be safe you be safe, if she don't comply then don't have sex! He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. Life is too short to spend even one month chained to someone you're not in love with. Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. I need advice too. Sex is the leading cause of babies. "And Maggie Makes Three" is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. To think about the kids. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. They finally divorced when I was 19. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. My girlfriend admitted to me that she cheated. And the same with me. And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. I want to come home from work to my son EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, but I can't if me and the mother aren't together. Also, if it's bad now it will only get worse once the baby is here. Will you make a better progress by doing so? SEE THEM EVERYDAY. Be responsible of your act and decision on something. The dilemma I have a female colleague who has, over the past three years, told me she loves me and would like to marry me.The problem is that I do not love her and I have told her that. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. So here's the long story short My pregnant girlfriend hates me and keeps pushing me away!